The Day I Accidentally Had My Baby :)

Anika (6 weeks) with cousin, Owen (3 weeks)

So it has taken me almost 2 months to write this post. There are a lot of reasons for that...
Sorry if it is too long or boring, or too much info.

Background:

Thursday, January 7th - I hadn't felt Anika move for a looong time and was very worried.
I called my midwives and was sent in for an ultrasound and non-stress test. The NST looked good,
as did the ultrasound except my fluid level was low. However, the nurses suspected it was misreported.
Long story, but I agree it was probably wrong. We did get an ultrasound picture that ended up
costing us some hundreds of dollars :)

Friday, January 8th - I was sent in for more of the same testing at a different hospital. Before
doing the tests at this hospital, I found out our insurance doesn't cover me at either hospital.
I ended up getting the tests done at a 3rd hospital where I got two more
not-so-expensive ultrasound pictures.

Saturday, January 9th - I get hit hard with laryngitis. I'm sick, tired and stressed.

Tuesday, January 12th - Still sick, I consider not going to my appointment but go anyway
and get to wear a mask. I see my "new" midwife that has rights at the hospital that I now have
to go to. I like her and was glad she decided to transfer to the clinic because
I would have had to start all over if she hadn't.

The Big Day:

Thursday, January 14th - Still sick. I decided to spend the whole day doing nothing but
getting better (sleep, rest, drink water, do nothing). After my morning nap I find a message on
my phone to call the nurse. She tells me that my midwife wants me to go in and get the tests
done again. I thought that was funny since it was so out of the blue and I had just seen my
midwife 2 days before without a hint about getting the tests done again. I almost asked if I
really had to because I was really just wanting to take it easy and get better.

After getting ready, eating lunch, and wishing I was napping again, I drove to the hospital. I tell
the nurse at the desk who I am and why I'm there. It was about 12:30pm. She wondered what
took me so long and said, "If you fluid level is low, they'll take the baby today." I didn't say anything,
but I think my eyes bugged out a little and I thought, "Lady, you are crazy. My fluid level
is fine and there is NO WAY I am having my baby today."

While I wait for my first test, I texted a few family members to ask for prayers just in
case because I was not ready to have my baby. My dad calls and I tell him more about what is
going on and why I'm not ready to have my baby. The tests show that my fluid level is okay and
baby is doing great. The nurse from the desk is just about to unhook me from the NST and let
me go home when she notices that my blood pressure is a little high. She has me stay for 5 more
minutes so she can take it again. It is still high so she calls my midwife and has me stay for
15 more minutes so they can monitor it a little more. She wonders if it is going up because
she is scaring me and tells me to take some deep breaths and try not to worry. I don't
remember being particularly upset or concerned. I don't usually have high blood pressure.

All of the following happened something like this over the next 2-3 hours:
- Nurse: "We're going to keep you for an hour or two and have you do a few more tests."
- I call Nathaniel who is just getting off work, update him, and ask if he wants to come stay
with me. I have 3+ protein in my urine. It means that my kidneys aren't working right.
- Nathaniel arrives about the time that the nurse comes back in and says,
"We're probably going to keep you overnight."
- Me thinking: "This is outrageous." However, I am surprised at how well I handled things.
I didn't really ever freak out. Maybe because things happened too fast or I was in major denial.
- Nurse: "We are going to keep you overnight." More tests.
- Somewhere in here another urine test came back as a 4+ protein. 3+ is really quite bad.
The nurse intermittently remarks, "Wow. I've never seen anyone with 4+ protein in their urine."
- It took several tries in several places from a couple nurses to get the IV in.
OUCH! I had lots of bruises for 2 weeks or more.
- My midwife and the on call doctor are now coming in person to assess the situation instead of
having the nurse call to update them all the time. Nurse: "You might have to have your baby soon."
- Nurse: "You will have to have your baby soon." We discuss options as to whether I
can have it vaginally or if I have to have a C-section. We wait for the doctor.
- Also somewhere in here, it was determined that I had preeclampsia (a.k.a. toxemia)
and that is was escalating a lot really suddenly. I was started on Magnesium Sulfate to
prevent seizures and make my blood pressure go down. It is a muscle relaxant. I was
also at risk for strokes. The medication makes you feel pretty miserable.
- One source refers to toxemia as, "...the most dangerous pregnancy disease for both mother and
baby." Later my midwife tells me that I actually had HELLP Syndrome which is the worst
form of toxemia. My kidneys were beginning to shut down and my liver was involved.
- More craziness and suddenly I don't really have a choice and my C-section is scheduled for 6:30 pm.
- Nathaniel was able to get his brother to come for a quick blessing.
- I'm prepped for the C-section and wheeled down to the OR to get my spinal block. I'm
suppose to relax. I HATE needles. Before I knew better ways of having a child
naturally (like HypnoBirthing), I considered doing it just because I hate needles.
- My arms are straight out in line with my shoulders. My hands are basically strapped down.
(The anesthesiologist puts straps across my palms and tells me to hold them so I know
where to keep my hands; very clever.)
- Nathaniel comes in and sits behind the blue curtain with me.
- The surgery begins. It was the weirdest feeling to have all that tugging and pulling.
It didn't hurt. Because of all the pressure I asked if they break ribs doing this.
I may have been slightly out of it. :)
- Baby is out at 6:57 pm and makes a little cry. I don't see her. Nathaniel doesn't look
for a minute. After forever I get to see (not hold or touch) her for a few seconds while
they are sewing and stapling me back together.

I was pretty miserable and pretty out of it afterward. Mostly due to the magnesium sulfate,
I was too sick so the nurses wouldn't let me go see my baby. Anika's nurses also wouldn't let
her come see me. I didn't get to see her again after the few seconds in the OR for at least 36 hours!!!
That, and the fact that she was premature is what I have the hardest time with. She was growing
just fine, but she had to be in the hospital and will now have to deal with all the possible
side effects of prematurity. Without the least bit of sarcasm, she is more
prone to have problems with EVERYTHING.

The next day my body took a long time to start working again. People were getting pretty
concerned. Sometimes I wondered if I was dying but coudln't tell because of the medication. :)
Later that afternoon things finally started to turn around. Whew!

Despite all of the trials, I generally feel like things were supposed to happen that way
(excpet not being able to see my baby. Next time I will be much more assertive - as will Than -
but I was so out of it!). I feel like my midwife was inspired to make me go do the tests again and
that the nurse made me stay in the hospital. There were a lot of things that had to happen
before all of that too, to even get me to that point. For example, if I hadn't not felt Anika
move I wouldn't have had the tests done. I wouldn't have figured out our insurance had changed.
I wouldn't have had that particular midwife involved. I wouldn't have been in the hospital
that day. I may have gotten a lot more bills our insurance didn't cover. Anika and I may not be
here today. I know that sounds funny, but the situation was very serious. My midwife said,
"Someone was watching out for you. Someone was watching out for your little girl. You're both
lucky to be here." My midwife wasn't even working the day that she had me get the tests
done again. She called into the office and had the nurse send me in.

What about HypnoBirthing? I am still very glad I took the class. I learned so much
that I wouldn't trade. Call me crazy, but I think the relaxation techniques that I was practicing
every day helped to keep me calm in the weeks leading up to this. I feel like it would have
happend sooner, and Anika would have had more issues if I hadn't been as
relaxed. It wasn't until I had been stressed and sick that things really started to escalate.

Funny the ways things seem to not work out, but then they really do. We have been so blessed.

Odds and Ends

I was happy to hear birds chirping and see summer clothes on sale!
Hooray for warmer days and more sunshine!

Anika has a mild case of acid reflux. We've been diligently keeping her
upright more the past day or so, and that has seemed to help a lot.

She also does any or a combination of the following before she has a
bowel movement: grunt, strain, turn red, cry out, cry, and wiggle-wiggle-wiggle.
I am trying to figure out what is normal and what is going on... She doesn't
seem to be constipated and her stools are not hard at all, but they
generally always make noise. Any ideas???

Nathaniel LOVES his job.

Today is our 3 1/2 year anniversary.

Things have been kinda crazy but generally good. Anika is a good
baby besides her issues above; poor thing. She is a typical newborn:
sleep, eat and poop. I am a typical mother of a newborn: trying to find
time to do the same (much less shower or get anything else done, but I try
not to expect much). Oh, and don't forget pumping. I still have to do that
8-10 times a day, and I hate it. Nathaniel is the perfect and most
amazing husband. I don't know what I would do without him!

I accidentally referred to our Ensign subscription as a prescription.
After thinking more about it, I realized it is too true!
It is a prescription for just about anything!

"You can know the things you need to know." -President Packer

"If you do your best it will all work out." - President Hinckley

"Create." - President Uchtodorf


Check out my last post for cool, cute stuff!

Anika with Grandpa Aune.
He did a great job putting her to sleep.

Making funny faces at daddy while in the carrier.

A visit from Great Grandma Hyatt.

Sharing your Talents

People were very generous in giving us gifts for our baby.
We were very blessed to receive all the gifts we did, whether large or small
(especially with all the bills we have to pay now).

I wanted to share some gifts that we were given that people made
and usually sell, but were kind enough to give to me. How lucky I am that
people chose to share their talents with me!

My friend, Rachel, made these cute bows. You can wear them on a headband
or in your hair. (Although she gave them to me primarily for and I plan to use them
primarily for Anika.) I bought just a few from her at a very good price, and then she
gave me several more as a gift. Check out her website for other colors and designs:

http://lovelysforsale.blogspot.com/



My cousin, Danielle, is a professional seamstress. She is amazing!
She makes baby shoes, Mei Tai carriers and more.
She put a lot of effort into picking the best fabrics for the shoes she makes.
She makes shoes for boys and girls.


This is the Mei Tai carrier she gave me. It is double-sided, very durable,
and is specially designed to keep your back and shoulders from aching.
There are a lot more styles and much better pictures on her website.

See them at:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/twirlybirdbaby


THANKS!

4 Weeks Already?

Time flies. I think it seems like she should be a week or two old
because she has been in the hospital so long. Anika is SUPER squirmy,
and we aren't photographers, so this is what you get.

Happy Valentines Day!

Trying to go somewhere?

We're so glad she's home!!!!

Yesterday I was worried she may not have been eating enough.
I don't want to wind up in the hospital with another IV. However,
today I couldn't keep up with her in a very literal way.

We're Home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We got home around 9:30 this morning. It has been so wonderful to have her
home and to be able to be with her all day. She is a sweetheart.

Anika in her "going home" outfit. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa!


Anika with Uncle Kris and Aunt Serena :) We had arranged a few weeks
back to visit with them yesterday. We didn't know where we would be,
but we happened to be "rooming in" so they got to see Anika.


All bundled up in the carseat to go home! I was so happy I cried. It was a lot
better crying for that reason than the times I cried because I saw all the other
babies going home. I think we made another mom cry though. :(
The blue flower blanket was one of my baby blankets.

Three Weeks and Almost Home!

Anika is 3 weeks old today! We need to get a picture...

Anika's pediatrician called the nursery this morning, had the nurse review her report,
and decided she could move up to taking 3 out of 4 feedings orally. Then he came to visit
in the afternoon and decided to take out the feeding tube and let her take all of her
feedings on demand. The nurses call us whenever she starts to wake up and show
she is hungry and we rush over to feed her. She can eat as much or as little as
she wants each time, but she HAS to gain weight. If she doesn't, she'll be there longer
and may need to have a feeding tube again if it gets bad enough. We hope and pray
she will eat enough and gain weight. Two good days of this and she gets to
come home!!!!! He is hoping for Sunday or Monday. We will be staying
at the hospital again Friday and Saturday (maybe Sunday).

Thanks for all the prayers!

Not Cool

Her 4:30 feeding went pretty well. The 7:30 wasn't so great.
But, the worst part of it all is that her nurse for the day is the nurse I went
and requested to NOT have. It takes a special person for me to have gone
that far, and I am not happy about her being assigned to Anika again.
I blame the bad 7:30 feeding on her. Real mature, I know.
I have two more to go with her there. I hope I can make it.
Sorry to be rude and negative...

A Good Day

Isn't she adorable? Although the picture just doesn't do her justice.
She loves her hands up by her face when she sleeps, just like her mom.

Anika is over 6lbs now! She has gained about 1lb since birth.
Today she took her whole bottle 3 out of the first 4 feedings, and all but 11 ml the other time.
Nathaniel is there right now for her 4:30 am feeding so I hope it goes well.
I felt really quite happy for most of the day (afternoon and evening).
It helped that I could laugh about Nathaniel's episode last night (see post below).
I went to Kohl's and enjoyed window shopping (which is a good sign), and bought
Anika some journal/photo albums in hopes that it might encourage me to keep up on
things for her. I know, most parents start with good intentions... I'm planning to
keep it simple so that maybe I'll keep it up.

I picked Nathaniel up from work and we decided to go to the Temple
and do initiatory work. I did names for one of the workers and she told me that one
of the sisters I was doing the work for was the last one in her family to get her work done.
The Temple is always nice and the right place to be.
We got pizza for dinner on our way from the Temple to the hospital with
a gift card I had gotten for my birthday. Bonus!
Anika was wide awake and cute as ever when we got to the hospital.
At this feeding she actually took and extra 25% because now she can
bottle feed "ad lib" or something. Good girl!

Here is a picture of our potato bug we mentioned earlier. It is hard to tell what
position she is in, but she just folded over and curled up like a potato bug.

A good day.

Ha Ha, We Just Might Be Losing Our Minds

Last night my alarm went off relatively soon after I had gone to sleep because it was
time for me to get up and pump. It woke Nathaniel up too. He sat up quickly, looking around
confused and anxious. I told him to go back to sleep, but the next thing I know he is
standing up on our bed. He begins to jump and reach toward the ceiling fan in our room
and continues to do it despite my questions and commands. He mumbled about
something on the ceiling fan. Finally he laid down and went back to sleep. It wasn't
until morning that I understood that, to him, Anika was the something on our ceiling fan.
Somehow she had gotten up there and Nathaniel was just a worried Dad trying to
keep his daughter safe. What a good dad! (Maybe a very tired one too!)

I am sort of really glad he did that because it has been some needed comic relief.
I laugh out loud almost every time I think about it. I mean, really, just picture
it and see if you don't laugh. :)

I've had my share of dreams lately too; a lot of them have been about Anika as well.
Some certain friends of ours may be glad to know that we are finally dreaming about our
own kid and haven't had a dream about them being pregnant for quite some time now. :)

Two out of Three

I tried to get a picture of the funny face she makes when we burp her.
I just missed it.

Now we get to feed Anika two times out of every three feedings. This makes for a
more complicated schedule and more trips to the hospital on some days, but we are
VERY glad she is making progress. I try to be positive because I see how much we have
been and are blessed, but I do get discouraged. We had been thinking that after
2 out of 3 we would get to feed her all the time, but we actually have another step
we have to take first. Once she does well with 2/3 then we go to 3/4 before we can
feed her all the time. We were kinda bummed about that. It makes sense,
but it also means she has to stay in the hospital longer...

Here is a picture with her empty bottle that she finished off yesterday.
She even wanted more (but we have to follow Dr's orders),
so we gave her the pacifier. Way to go!

Yesterday was the first 2 out of 3 day, and it wasn't the best. This morning,
however, she took the whole bottle in 20 minutes! She has taken the whole
bottle 3-4x now. We've been working on nursing and hope to continue to do so,
but we've had a lot of issues with it- including my milk supply. I've had LOTS of
issues that I won't get into, but for those of you now and in the future who
may struggle with nursing I suggest you find someone to help you before you give up.
I can give you some good ideas or resources if you need it :)

Luckily I am able to pump enough now to get most of what she needs. But it
comes with a price; I pump 8-10 times a day/night! That is somewhat typical,
but it sure takes a lot out of you.

Yesterday was just a rough day. Anika (or the nurse... it was hard to tell)
accidently pulled her feeding tube out again. She did it a week or so ago as well.
It is soooo sad! This time she had just gotten a new one a few days ago anyway,
but she had to go through it all again. She screams and cries and I want to cry
(sometimes I do). They have to pull the tape off her face; it hurts and leaves a
mark too. They taped the new one on really poorly so they had to put on even
more tape. Not only that, but it was covering part of her nostril, stuck to part
of her lip and pulling at the skin under her eye. So she had to endure even more
tape removal right after having it put on. I don't know why, but they put in a bigger
tube this time and we aren't very happy about it. She is still such a tiny thing
so the tube takes up even more of her nostril. Poor girl :(

This Thursday she will be 3 weeks old! Monday, February 8th is her official
"guess" date (which was most likely 1 1/2 weeks too early). Nathaniel worked a
little during the last two weeks, but he went back to work yesterday. He'll probably
use some of his time off and take a few more days when she comes home, but I'm just
trying not to sit at home crying all day. Don't worry, I'm not doing that bad.
But it is really hard.